Blog – Crooked Monkey

Today, as I was walking down Campus Drive, I realized what was missing from my life. I need a companion, a sidekick… something to love unconditionally, something to care for, something to feed live mice to. So I bought a snake. I named him Merv. The pet store owner said he shouldn’t grow to be longer than fourteen inches, so I still got that snake beat.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, “A snake? In a dorm room? That’s ridiculous” But I’m thinking, “A snake? In a dorm room? Why didn’t I do this sooner?” And as for the ladies, I know they’ll love Merv…after all, they’ve been pretty satisfied with the other snakes that they’ve encountered in my room.

Tags: Dorm stories